Day 35 July 14th 2009

Holy crap was today hot. 101 degrees up on Heathers hill. I went and saw Jack today and about died walking across campus in shorts and a tank top. It was a good session. We talked about my difficulty with not being able to understand why things happened. Its not that I dont understand what happened its that I dont get WHY those things happened. Hopefully soon there will be a breakthrough or ill be able to maintain sanity trying to figure it out.
Worked 2 hours for Heather today which sucked but I didnt have to do anything because the boys were sleeping but it was sooooo hot. I should have taken a nap but now im wide awake with "life" occupying my mind. Oh how I wish I was able to sleep at night. Maybe I should see someone about it but I dont want to start taking drugs because then ill worry about Rilee and not being able to hear her or anything else bad that could happen.
I think that tomorrow I am taking Rilee to the river because its going to be really hot and I dont work. So it should be a good day for the 2 of us to get out there and have some water fun! Either that or ill try the water hole at Howarth Park. Who knows how I feel when I wake up in the morning... oh wait... crap Rilee is in school tomorrow. Maybe ill go tanning at the river all by myself? That would be wonderful and I wouldnt have to worry about her at all. hmmmmm decisions decisions.
I havent decided if I should look for more work or wait to see how recent things pan out. I need to call the IRS tomorrow though. Before I do anything I have to figure out where its at so I dont get booted out of school. I will be so heartbroken.
Its still hot tonight im sticky with sweat and am debating a cool shower before bed. Thats sounding pretty amazing right now.